Focus

I've been out of sorts lately. Unfocused. For good reason, mind you, but Mister is right. Enough is enough. Today, I will learn to re-focus. He has decided that I need to let go of the worry over things I have no control over and remember than there is only so much I can do in any situation. I've been too obsessive about things and that never helps anything - neither the situation, nor me, nor the the people involved. So, this isn't really a day of punishment, but rather of refocusing.

He's determined to remind me that I can't control the universe. At times, I can't even control my own body. And with that lack of control, somehow everything works out just fine. So - He's taken control of my body away from me. I will wear wrists cuffs all day. Sometimes, they will be joined, sometimes attached to other things, sometimes I'll have no bonds to hold me at all. He makes that decision.

I can't speak other than to answer a question or use my safe word. Which means, I can't even tell him when I need to use the bathroom. I have to wait for him to ask me if I do, then he must give me permission.  This is hard, because he's starting the day with a forced enema. Three, actually. One of warm water to clean me out, the second of with cool, almost cold water with lemon juice added. This will cause me to cramp terribly, but he has added a large plug to prevent most leakage. I want to beg him to let me release, but he's set a timer. I must hold this for at least 10 minutes. One that is released, he again fills my bowels with warm water to help was away any residue. This he makes me hold for 15 minutes while I suck on his cock. I'm crying from humiliation. I hate when he administers these enemas. Usually, he simply orders me to do it, but he's teaching me that I have less control over life, even my own body, than I would like. He grabs my head and pushes down. His hips jerk as he fills my mouth with his seed. Now this, this I love. To know I've pleased him and to drink of his own body. He kisses my forehead and tells me that my time is up. I can release the plug in private and he steps out of the room.

I'm grateful for this and quickly attend to my cleansing. I know this much attention to my nether region means one thing. It will be well used today. Sure enough, I finish cleaning myself and step out into the hallway. He takes me to the basement - which used to be a root cellar - so it's dark, a little damp and scary. He takes me over to bench and binds me to it. It will be a long time, I know, before I am released. I blush even though I have been here before. Still, he has access to every intimate area of my body and I am helpless to stop anything. My breasts even dangle between the center bar and I have no doubt he will take advantage of this.

He begins with the flogger. Gently, easy. But soon, his strikes become harder, faster. I'm crying out in pain and he reminds me that I have one choice only. To say the Safe Word or endure. I choose to endure. Then, he puts the flogger down. He runs his hand over my hot skin and down my slit. I'm very wet and uses my own moisture to lube my anus. I close my eyes. I knew this was coming. He enters my back door, not harshly, but with purpose. He grasps my hips and fucks. I can't touch him and call out his name. He has all the control, not me. It takes him a while since he's already come in my mouth, so he pounds away, his balls slapping against my wet pussy lips. I want him in my pussy, but I can't ask him. I must be silent. He has the control to use whatever he chooses. I feel the rhythm speed up and hear his labored breathing. He pulls out and sprays my ass and back with his steaming stream. I hate this and he knows it. This is why he did it. He's teaching me that I can't control everything. Sometimes, I can't control my own body.

He rests for a while, leaving me bound to the bench. He gets a glass of water and, using a straw, offers me a sip. Then, he goes back to my bottom. This time with a leather paddle. I'm already crying but you ignore this. I can say my Word and it will stop, but I don't. I don't want to stop. I don't want control. Ten strikes to each cheek and thigh you give me. I'm beyond sobbing now. You check to make sure I'm okay and I am. You unhook me and cradle me in your arms. You kiss me and hold me and whisper that I've been good. You're proud of me. If I can keep this up, perhaps tonight or tomorrow you'll actually fuck my pussy. I moan in anticipation, but cuddle against you. You're right. I did to to refocus and the only way I was going to do that was by giving you total control.

Boot Camp follow up

My four days of Hotel Boot Camp was over a week ago and I'm still feeling the effect - mentally and, I suppose, spiritually. Let me revisit the highlights of the trip and how I feel about the experience now.

1.  Unconditional Obedience. I didn't think this would go well for me and I was right. My first acting out was when it was time for dinner. Milord called for room service and I felt the need to cover myself or hide in the bathroom. At that time, I was tied to the bed, face up, clothespins on my nipples, a vibrator in my recently fucked pussy. I begged him to at least take out the vibrator and cove me with a sheet. He ignored me and opened the door for the room service guy. Before the guy wheeled in the cart, I heard milord explain that he was training me, with my consent, to be an obedient woman. The young man was welcome, if he was comfortable doing so, to help with the training by not averting his eyes and freely commenting on my assets. I was mortified! The guy was young - mid twenties - and quite handsome. He openly stared at me and then WHISTLED!!! He asked if I truly had consented to this and, after glancing at Milord for permission to speak, I assured him I had. The man then set up our dinner and noted to Milord how he had always wanted to do the same with his girlfriend. He admired how my nipples were hard rocks above the pins, how pretty my red cheeks were and asked how many times I had cum due to the position I was in and the vibrator. I gritted my teeth as the two of them discussed me for the next ten minutes. The man then told Milord that the hotel had a policy of assigning one server to a client if so requested. He'd happily be our personal server. The two shook hands and the man left. Milord unclipped my nipples and I screamed a bit as the blood rushed back into them. I hadn't thought I could cum again, but I was wrong. I exploded, expelling the vibrator from my pussy. This made Milord laugh, so i thought he was pleased, but no. He reminded me of my disobedient mouth and told me that if that happened again, he'd punish me in front of the server rather than in private. He spanked my pussy and thighs. Hard. I cried and cried from the pain and from my failure. He then untied me, cuddled me, told me I had taken my punishment like a good girl and so for the duration of dinner I had full permission to speak.

NOW.  Yes, the pussy spanking hurt like hell, but what hurt more was the fact that I had made it barely three hours before I had disobeyed. In the past Milord would have let me get by with it, or worse, done as I demanded and covered me. Now, we've both learned that rules are rules and when they are enforced we both feel better afterwards. I look at him with even more respect now and certainly think twice before breaking any of our agreed upon rules.

2.  All Holes belong to Him.  I've always enjoyed the occasional anal experience, but I've been picky about it. I had to know a day in advance. I ate lightly, made sure my rectum was clean, placed towels within easy reach, and was horrified at the idea that my poop (eeewww!!) would be touched, seen or smelled! At the HBC (Hotel boot camp) I was not allowed to be picky. In the four days we were there, he came in my anus six times! He filled it with the metal egg, a large butt plug and even made me sleep with a small plug inserted. I had no privacy! I was not allowed to close the bathroom door. I was humiliated by this, but I had no choice. I disobeyed once and shut the door when I felt the need for a bowel movement. When I had finished, I was promptly punished. He pulled me over his lap and applied his belt across my bottom for ten minutes straight! By the time he finished, my bottom was beet red, my face was just as red, my cheeks covered in wet, salty tears and my pussy dripping with wetness.

NOW.  I understand that if he wants access to any part of my body he understand and - doesn't mind - the possibility of the unpleasant (in my mind) goo, odor or clean up. While I still appreciate a bit of warning, I eat more fiber (avoiding constipation), drink more water and guess what - not only do I now have regular bowel movements, but I feel physically better and healthier. Now when he takes my ass or plugs it, I'm pleased - inordinately so - that I can comply.

Overall, I'm a better, happier, healthier person and a more satisfied, skilled and content submissive.

Hot Seat

Nope. I'm not in trouble. I've been very good in fact. Still, Milord wanted to try out something new. He calls it the "Hot Seat" and tells me that after this first "experiment" it will be used only for punishment or display. Today, though, he will use it for both to see how it works. I could back out of this, but I won't. I'm curious as well and besides, I love the look of pride on his face when I agree to do something new even though I know I will be pushed to my  limits.

First, he fucks me. No making love, a good, hard fucking. He leaves my pussy in peace (damn it all to hell) and uses my anus. He's not cruel. He used a ton of lube and for that I'm grateful. Still, he took his time and I thought my body would split open. He refused to allow me to cum and this was more than I could manage. Naturally, I failed. When I did, he pumped his seed deep into my body. He then scolded me for having disobeyed a simple command (he's right!) until I was crying from shame.

Next, he pulls me over his lap and lays his hand across my bottom. I couldn't help myself. After the first 10 or so strokes, I pushed my hand over my ass to protect it. MISTAKE!! Now I was in for a real punishment. And a real punishment it was! He told me to pick a number - I HATE this game. If I'm wrong, I guess again until I guess the number he has in mind. For each incorrect guess, he adds another five swats. 10? Nope. 15? Closer, but not. 20? That's it - plus an extra 10 for the two incorrect answers. Milord is not cruel, as I said, but he is strict. Quickly, his hand came down on each cheek, my tender sit spot and my upper thighs - 30 times. I was sobbing by this time, my face a mess of redness and tears. He turned me over, kissed me and told me I'd taken my punishment like a good girl should. Now was the time for the real experiment now. The Hot Seat. He carried me to our walk-in closet and there, in there, in the middle of the room, was a chair. It had adjustable legs so that my legs could pushed together or spread into a wide V. My arms would be restrained as could my neck. But the truly terrifying part? In the center of the seat was an enormous plug. I began to sob and beg and cry, all of which he soothed but ignored. He stood me in front of the chair and told me to sit. The plug would go up my anus and I could adjust the speed in which I went down. Still crying, I did so, slowly. Glory be it was big, but no bigger than I've taken before. Then, he placed my legs on the chair, secured them and spread them wide. He also tied my shoulders to the back of the chair and at this point, I was captive. He laughed, noting how wet my pussy was. He ticked my clit and fingered my cunt until I was screaming for release and then - he stopped. He kissed me and said he'd be back to check on later. I cried and begged him to stay, but he laughed and closed the door. Now, I was in darkness, frustrated, and bound. He kept me this way, edging, tender, checking on me often but never allowing any type of release for hours. Finally, he did release me. I fell to the floor, my anus tender, by beaten bottom hot and I begged for release. He smiled, held my chin up and said, "You may have all the release you want, but only from sucking my cock."

I have a strong feeling that Milord will be using the Hot Seat often.

Ass taken

We set up rules. I know we did. But seriously, the dress was really, really short and the matching panties were really, really pretty. I didn't think he'd mind. Really. He's the one who wanted me to wear the little red dress over to dinner at his brother's house.  He's allowed me to wear panties with short dresses before! I guessed he wouldn't want his brother to get a glimpse of me my treasure chest. Guess who was wrong. That's right - me. He knew. He told me he knew. From the moment I walked out of the bedroom, got in the car, greeted his brother. He knew I was wearing panties. Does he say anything then? No. Instead, he waits until we're at the dinner table all seated and happy. THEN he calmly informs his brother that I've broken one of our rules. Right then my face went as red as my dress. His brother, calmly cutting his steak, suggests that Mr. Mister take care of the problem right away. It simply won't due to allow rules to go broken. Mr. agrees. He makes me stand up and bend

over - right there. He pulls down my panties, holds my hands against the small of my back and gives me ten - TEN - hard spankings. THEN he checks my treasure and sure enough, I'm dripping wet! He stuffs the panties in his pocket and then orders me to sit back down and finish dinner. OMFG!!! I could not have been more humiliated. Or so I thought. The two of them go on to sedately discuss what further punishment would be appropriate. They decide - right in front of me - that a good ass fucking is in order. This will serve to remind me that my ass is HIS. I'm crying now because I'm so embarrassed. Mr. tells me to finish my dinner then I'm to clear the table while he and his brother enjoy a brandy. Finally, the evening ends and we head home. Mr. Mister says not a word on the drive, but whistles happily. Seriously!! My bum is still a bit tender and I know better than to argue at this point. When we get home he tells me to strip and get on the bed, belly down. NOW. I follow his order in record time. I keep apologizing and promising to follow the rules from now on. He says he believes me but I'm still getting a good ass fucking. He gets out the lube - not the regular stuff in the bedside drawer, but the stuff he uses for punishment - the lube that he keeps in the fridge! He fills me up and, without further ado fucks me. Hard. He touches nothing but my ass. He tells me that if I cum, He'll spank me again. I'm crying, wanting so badly to orgasm. Thankfully, he cums deep in my ass. I'm so frustrated I could scream - which is just what he wants! So, have I learned my lesson? You bet your sweet ass I have!

Day of the Ass

Today was DAY OF THE ASS. As with Day of the Nipple, He began by having me kneel and perform fellatio. I learned my lesson, though, and clasped my hands behind my back so that I would not touch him without permission. He laughs when he sees this, grabs my hair and tells me to look at him. He wants to see my eyes when he cums down my throat. He wants to see my reaction as I gulp down his offering. He wants to watch my throat move and my eyes water. Then, he fucks my mouth. I struggle to keep my eyes on his and - yes - I fail. Nonetheless, he gives me his morning blessing but tells me I am still to be punished. For the next 24 hours I will wear a metal chastity belt and he will keep the key. I cry in frustration knowing he will keep his word. He even encases my breasts in a metal bra so that I will find no release except through my ass. This, he will use as he chooses.

First, he inserts a plug through the back hole of the belt. I wince a bit, but he soothes me and when the plug settles, I feel pleasantly full. Then, he tells me to dress. We are going out shopping. I gape at him in shock. He's going to take me out in public wearing not only a chastity belt but also a plug??? He grabs my hair, pulls my head back and kisses me. When he lifts his head he whispers: Obey or pay a price. You've already earned one spanking for closing your eyes earlier.  

I obey. He takes his time with errands and I am conscious only of my wet, lonely pussy and my full bottom. It is as if he is touching me even when he is pushing the grocery cart. Finally, we arrive back home. We put away the groceries and I am a mass of nerves and wetness. I can't take any more, so i go down on my knees again, tears in my eyes and beg. I beg him to take me. To fuck me. To give me sweet release. I'm sobbing at this point, so desperate am I for his touch. Desperate and so very, very close to orgasm. He lifts my chin and smiles. If I take my spanking like a good girl, he says. I nod eagerly and promise to be good. He sits on one of the kitchen chairs and pulls me over his lap. I jump with the sharp sting of the first slap and cry. I know he likes to hear this and I couldn't have stopped myself even if I had tried. The real challenge will be in keeping my hands out of his way and not kicking. I brace my hands on the floor. This helps to center me. I can concentrate on them.I count the tears as they splash on the white floor until there is a small puddle of brine between my hands. My ass is on fire so that even the rain of my tears and my abandoned, locked shut pussy can't quench the flames. He turns me over and hold me, kisses me, tells me he's proud of me. When I calm a bit, he sets me on the floor. He unlocks my belt but warns that it will go right back one once he finishes. My pussy will not be free until tomorrow. If I touch myself he will add another day. I nod and babble my understand. 

Then, he kneels behind me. Slowly he enters my anus, allowing my body time to adjust. Please. Please, I beg. Please let me cum. He allows this. He pushes in deep, hard and says, Yes, you may cum as often as you like. With his words, I explode. Color erupts behind my eyes and I am nothing but a body. He moves, fucking me. First hard, then slowly. Then hard again. The contrast makes me crazy and again I am crying. I hear someone's voice and realize it's my own moans. He touches no other part of me. All nerves end in my bottom. I feel his movements speed and then, then he cums. He graces me with his blessing and I cry out in joy. After, he holds me again, kisses me, then carefully locks me back into chastity. Tomorrow, after all, is another day.

Black and Blue Friday

Here's the deal. I shop. I get FREAKIN' AWESOME deals. I use ALL of the money Sir has given me - $1,000.00 - to purchase gifts for our friends and family. I make it home by noon. If I am late, he will add to my Friday.  He inspects my purchases. I tell him whom I have purchased each gift for and he counts. He has instructed me to purchase gifts for ten people. If he approves of the gifts and I have managed to buy for all ten, I will be rewarded. If I fail, I will be punished. I'm not sure which I want the most!

I am twenty-one minute late. I go to the dining room and arrange my choices before him. He nods is approval of all but one. His Father. I will need to take back the tie and purchase another that is more suitable. He asks if I am ready and I smile. I strip off my clothes - right there in the dining room.  I move to the side table and position myself. I grip the edges of the table, assuming the position. twenty one for my tardiness and one the wrong gift purchase.
I hear the wind whip as the cane slices the air. I know I should relax. The pain will be less. The bruising will be less. I can't help myself. I tense my muscles and the cane strikes hard flesh.
I feel nothing. Then, a searing fire sears my flesh. I cry out and clutch the edges of the table. You tusk your tongue and sigh. You tell me that I need to relax yet you know I cannot. Not without your help. Still, you swing the switch and I endure three more stripes with a tensed bottom. The bruising will show well for several days. You ask if this is what you want and I respond honestly. I tell you to do as you please. I will accept whatever you choose to do without complaint.

So, you do. You finish my punishment. Twenty two stripes across my bottom and upper thighs. By the time you finish, I am a sobbing mess. I no longer grip the tabletop, but lie flat, exhausted, limp and melted. I will bear the marks for days. The welts, the bruises, the tenderness. I will not be able to sit without pain for days. You know this and are pleased. I slip bonelessly to the floor. You already have unzipped your pants and exposed your cock. Crying still, I grasp it. I kiss, lick, worship you, showing my devotion.You allow me this pleasure, fucking my mouth. You cum and I savour the seed of your pleasure. I'm still crying but I don't know if it is from the pain or the pleasure. You help me to my feel and take me to bed. You help me walk. Gently, you lie me on my stomach and I think for a moment that you will give me gentleness.
I'm wrong. You tie me - spread eagle to the bed. You kiss my bottom, abused as it is. Then, you tell me that my time is not finished. For twenty-two minutes I will be plugged. You hold before my eyes an enormous ginger finger, peeled, dripping with juice. I whimper and whine. I beg but you laugh. You spread my cheeks and push the fig into my anus. Hard. You hold it in place, making sure it does not slip out, despite the notch you have carved. I squirm and cry again. You ignore my struggles. My insides are on fire. burning. the juice searing my tender tissue. I sob, not even bothering trying to subdue my cries. This pleases you.
Finally, the timer goes off and you release the ginger from my bottom. Still the burn continues. I stop squirming after a few minutes and you insert one finger into my anus. I raise my hips as I am able, wanting more. You add another finger, another. another. You finger fuck me - four fingers in my anus. I beg you to let me cum, but you deny this. You pull your fingers free and force them into my mouth. You ask if I taste ginger and I say, honestly, that I do not. Then, you take me. You take my ass and fuck it. You do not make love to me. You fuck me hard, fast and I beg you for my own release. Graciously, you grant this. I scream and float on waves of pleasure and fill my bowels with your own sweet, sweet release.


Four days have passed and I my bottom is still black and blue. I smile each time I see my ass in the mirror, each time i sit and feel the sting, each time I see the heat in your eyes. I am blessed.

No Quarter given nor asked for

I have teased him for months. On-line, texting, pictures. He has been out of the country, TDY, but now, he is home and it is time to face the music. For the last week, he has made love to me gently, beautifully, acquainting himself with my body again. Today, though, is my day of retribution. Veteran's Day. Today I will serve my Veteran in any and all way. I am his prisoner and no quarter will be asked or given. It is chilly outside, but that will makes no difference. To begin, he takes me to the woodshed. Yes, it stores wood for the fireplace, but also is used for a more traditional purpose. He keeps an old chair in the building for just this purpose. To begin, though, He had me walk the wood and cut a handful of switches. I tied them together then presented the bundle to him for his inspection. He was clear that I was to leave the little twigs attached. I kneeled in the chair and he began. Over and over he thrashed my bottom until the twigs began to break. I cried out, the pain searing my bottom, but he did not slow, simply placed a hand on my back to steady me. Only when each of the switches had broken did he stop.

By this time I was sobbing. He gathered me into his arms and comforted me, a kindness which made me sob even more. Then, he carried me inside, lay me gently on the bed. He rubbed ointment on my red bottom and lubed my hole. Then, he took it. He plunged in, balls deep, into my bottom hole. I screamed in surprise and a bit of pain, but he fucked me. Hard. Pulling my hair. I wanted to cum, but he whispered that if I did, he would call his troops over have them watch my next punishment then give me to them for their use. I bit my lip and focused on not cumming. Luckily, he used me hard and fast and came quickly, filling my bowels with his blessed seed.  Panting, he lay beside me and pushed my head down so that I could clean his cock and taste his cum.

When he recovered, he had more plans for me.  He had me stand and walked me out into our woods. There, he cuffed my hands behind a tree and tied me in place. The rough bark irritating my tender bottom and cool breeze raising goose flesh. Once in place, he scolded me fiercely for my wanton ways. He then pulled out a small container from his pocket and my eyes widened. Wasabi. He grinned wickedly and placed a small dab on my nipples and my clit. The fire shot into my nerves immediately and i bit my lip to keep from screaming. Tears fell down my cheeks and he continued to scold me. He took out his cock, hard and lovely and perfect. He rubbed himself, masturbating in front of me. i cried more. I hated not being able to touch him, but this, I knew, was justified. He came quickly, spraying my body with his seed. Then, he sat. He just sat in the grass and watched as i struggled with the humiliation of my exposure and the sting of the wasabi his cum drying on my skin. He glanced at his pocket watch and smiled again.

I knew, today would be a long, beautiful day. No quarter given. Nor asked for.

Submissive Tears

My tears are not a sign of weakness. They a the manifestation of release. When you take me, I will resist. I will fight for control because that is the nature of our society and culture. You must be strong for me. I need this from you. I need you to be persistent, not cruel, to convince me with determination rather than force that what you will take from me, what you demand of me, what you do to me and expect of me is not from your own selfishness, but for the good of both of us. I will not want this, initially. Slowly, firmly, convince me. Do not be afraid or hesitant in your requirements and always talk to me with patience and love. Tell me what you expect, what you will do, then do it.

You told me today you would use my ass. I don't want this. You smiled and told me to prepare an enema. You expected me to be cleaned. That I would administer a minimum of three enemas today. I complained and refused at first. Again you smiled, pulled me over your lap and spanked me until I cried, my tears signalling my release of control over to you. Then you kissed me and sent me on my way.

I obeyed. Once. The humiliation was horrific, but I followed your words. An hour later, you told me to repeat the process. I complained again and you simply raised your eyebrows. I sighed and stomped my foot, assuring you I had no need of a second application. This time, you bent me over a chair and pulled off your belt. After five stripes of the leather I again had tears streaming down my face. I am not afraid of you at all. I know if I tell you to stop you will. But I don't do this. Instead, I turn and kiss you then do as you want me to. You are right to require this. As I eliminate, I feel cleaner, more open, more relaxed.

I go about my daily chores and sure enough, an hour later, you again order me to complete my third and final cleansing. I know better than to argue this time and meekly follow your instructions. When I finish, you hold me, kiss my head and tell me how happy I've made you. My soul floats on this praise, but more, I am proud of myself and feel more of a woman than I have all week. I am strong enough to accept your control. Strong enough to give you my power and you are strong enough to accept it and use it with kindness and wisdom.

You order me to strip and I do so. You bend me over the came chair which you used to belt my bottom. I feel my face flush as you pry apart my butt cheeks and I feel something cold enter my very clean anus. I feel a burn and cry out. You soothe me with your voice and tell me that because I resisted not once, but twice, I would have to endure the burning of ginger in my anus while you again reminded me that I belonged to you. This time, it's a switch. A flexible, thin branch you have trimmed and smooth. I beg you and tell you I have learned my lesson, but you tell me that I have not. You can see the tension still in my body, you can hear the resistance in my tone and you are right.

I grasp the arms of the chair and hear the first swish of the switch. I cry out both from the burn of the ginger and the fire of the switch. I loose count of how may times you switch my bottom. I no longer shout, but my face is wet with tears and my body is loose. My mind has floated to a lovely plain of existence and my cunt is sweet with honey.

At some point, you have removed the fig because I no longer feel the internal burn. Then, I feel a cold slickness pushed into my anus. The tip of your cock presses in and I sigh. The pressure is intense and I feel I will split in two. You enter slowly but steadily. Then, you fuck my ass. hard. You use it as you would my cunt, which you ignore. You grasp my breasts and squeeze my nipples. I feel the heat of your orgasm fill my bowels and I cry even more. I have please you. I have given you control and I have served you as you wanted. You lean against my back and kiss me, telling me what a good woman I have been. I feel you slide out of me and I begin to stand but you stop me with a hand on my lower back.

You are not quite finished with my ass. You want me to remember my place for the rest of the day and so you push a large, metal egg into my ass. This will keep your cum inside of me. It is large enough to be uncomfortable but not so large as to hurt. My bottom is burning from the switch still and my asshole filled. You help me to stand, but I drop to my knees before you. I look up, tacitly asking permission. You smile and nod and I take your cock into my mouth. I suck and kiss and lick you clean, attending to your balls and thighs as well. Only when I see to you do I stand.

You tell me to shower then and to put on my house dress - a simple cotton frock. This is all I will be allowed to wear.

My tears are not a sign of weakness, they are the manifestation of my womanhood, my strength and my gift to my Lord.