Sexual Submissive.

Let me be clear. I am a sexual submissive.

 I will do as you command, not as you ask. 

YOU are my Master, no other will I obey. 

I need you to be strong, assertive, demanding.

I need you to give me direction.

I need you to take my Power and use it as your own.

I do not need you to ask; the answer is already: Yes.

I do not need you to hint; I have no time for innuendo.

I do not need you  to be gentle; I am strong as I need to be.

You will respect me as much as I respect you.

Therefore, take what you want. 

I am not afraid of my SafeWord.

If you want my ass to be shining red, make it so.

If you want me to greet you on my knees, let me know.

If you want me to stand in the rain and wait for you, I will ignore the cold.

Let me be Clear. I am a sexual submissive.

Flag Day Stripes

Happy Flag Day! This morning, Mr. Master told me that we would celebrate in an unusual way. My skin, you see, is quite white which makes sense since my hair is a brilliant red. Therefore, He needs to use very little force when spanking, lashing or caning for bright red stripes and welts to show clearly. He told me to bend over the spanking bench. He was going to give me 13 stripes to match our Flag and by the end I would be seeing "stars". He was right.  By number 5 I was dancing from foot to foot and beginning to howl. Still, I managed to stay in place for all 13. I was sobbing, but it was worth it to see the look of pleasure on his face and to see my bottom reflecting the original colonies! I thought he was finished, but I was wrong. He handed me a beautifully wrapped box and told me that the red and white needed a blue. Happy Flag Day!

Good Girl

I came home from work late, pissy and tense. Jack threw together dinner so I could relax and sip a glass of wine, but I still bitched, telling how to cook. For heaven's sake, it was only grilled cheese and tomato soup so I really was just bitching to be bitching. I grumbled through dinner and dishes. Finally, he'd had enough. He told me take off my slacks and I gave him lip. about it. Now, he was really finished dealing with me. He did the ONE thing I hate. He took me out to the balcony of our condo and told me to take off my pants. Right then. No more complaints or He'd do it for me which meant he'd tie my hands to the railing and cut them off. I knew this. I had agreed to this. Sometimes, I'm stubborn (duh!) and in my calmer moments can acknowledge this aspect of my personality and make allowances for it. I know he'd follow through because he did once before. Afterwards, not only was my bottom redder than fire, but my new slacks in shreds and I was shamefaced for having disobeyed, bitched and punished outside where, while unlikely but still possible, the neighbors could have witnessed my paddling. 

So, at this point I relented and dropped my dress slacks. He told me how disappointed he was in me. That it was perfectly fine to come one and need to vent but it was not fine to take out my frustrations on him. At this point, I saw what I had done and knew he was right so I agreed with him. I deserved this punishment and vowed to take it like a good girl. He told me to hold on to the railing and I did. He had grabbed the wooden paddle, the one he uses only when I've truly annoyed him. I understood then that I would receive no pleasure from this spanking, not during, not after. I asked what my count was and he said: Until I decide you've had enough.

I also knew what this meant. Meekly, I agreed to this as well. He would spank me until the tension left my body, until I cried. And so he began. I clenched my hands around the metal railing, biting my lip to keep from crying out. The sound of the wood smacking against my bottom and upper thighs was quite loud enough. I was terrified that the neighbors would hear and come out to investigate. Luckily, it was dark and Jack had turned the lights off so it would be difficult for them to see even if they did take a peek. He plasters both cheeks, the sit spot, the upper thighs. Finally, I let go. I slump forward, my body relaxing, tears flowing freely. I hold my emotions tight most of the time, but every so often, I NEED to cry. To release all the tension and wash away the stress of the day, the week. Jack knows this and watches my body carefully. He pushes me, yes, but only when I need to be pushed. He punishes me, yes, but only so far as my consent and need allow. 

He sees the change in me and stops, rubs my bottom and murmurs to me, soothing me now with his words. He tells me that he's proud of me, that he loves me. He tells me that I'm again his Good Girl. 

Choose Your Poison

If you had to choose your "poison" which of the following would it be? Personally, I'd go for D.

A.  

B. 

C.  

D.  

E.  

Exhibited in Vegas

I don't like this. I don't. But He does, and so it will happen. We are in Vegas for a long weekend and he has decreed that I am to be nude at all times while in our room. When we go out, He will approve anything I wear. This, I'm good with. I'm a private person and I love, respect and obey Him. We arrived at our hotel and on the elevator ride up He told me that the very moment we walked into our room I was to remove all of my clothing except my shoes. I agreed, naturally, but then remembered the bell hop would be bringing up the luggage so I asked permission to hide in the bathroom. He said that would be fine, but I'd pay a price later. Fine. I did as told and when the bell hop left, I came out. He had me stand by the window and took me from behind. The sun was out, the sheer curtain closed, so I had no concerns here. God I love when he takes me this way. He pumps into me with such force and I feel so very naughty. He spilled his seed inside of me and I came all over his cock. Buy this time, the sun was setting. Now, Now was pay back time. First, he attached little clips connected by a metal chain to my nipples. I whimpered and pulled away when the clips bit into my tender skin. This earned me a sharp five slaps to my pussy, which was still swollen from his use of me.  Then he opened the curtains and turned on all of the lights in the room. He lifted my hands, pressed them against the glass, pressed my shoulder as well so that my clipped nipples squished against the cold glass. I realized that the people on the street below couldn't possibly see me, but anyone in the nearby hotels certainly could. I begged him to let me step away, but He reminded me that I agreed to pay for hiding from the bell hop. And so, I stood, by nipples growing more tender by the moment, my cheeks growing more red. And shockingly, my pussy wet again. No, I do not like exhibition, but oh I so love obedience.

Fellatio in the Morning

I know exactly where my "happy" place is. Here, between your legs. Each morning as you enjoy your coffee and look out the kitchen window I kneel before you. I have no need for coffee or any other traditional morning beverage. You provide me with what I need. First, I attend to your balls, kissing each, licking, letting their weight sit on my lips. I suck each ball and watch as your cock fills with blood and stands tall. No words are spoken; there is no need. I am at peace and your body is coming alive to meet the day. You place one hand on my head and I move up to take your cock into my mouth. I know what you like. I keep my lips tight around your shaft, my hands cradling your balls, and I suck deeply, my tongue teasing your head. I go down, press my lips against your base then back up. You grasp my hair tightly and I sigh, knowing I'm pleasing you.I hear you set your coffee mug on the counter and I move faster, my hands massaging your hot jewels. My tongue traces the vein, the ridge of your head and I feel you shudder. Then, I know. I push down until I almost gag, your head against the back of my throat. I hear you groan and hold me in place, your hips pumping as my morning beverage shoots down my throat. When you finish, I sit back on my heels, satisfied, complete. I look up at you and smile. This is my Happy Place

Boot Camp follow up

My four days of Hotel Boot Camp was over a week ago and I'm still feeling the effect - mentally and, I suppose, spiritually. Let me revisit the highlights of the trip and how I feel about the experience now.

1.  Unconditional Obedience. I didn't think this would go well for me and I was right. My first acting out was when it was time for dinner. Milord called for room service and I felt the need to cover myself or hide in the bathroom. At that time, I was tied to the bed, face up, clothespins on my nipples, a vibrator in my recently fucked pussy. I begged him to at least take out the vibrator and cove me with a sheet. He ignored me and opened the door for the room service guy. Before the guy wheeled in the cart, I heard milord explain that he was training me, with my consent, to be an obedient woman. The young man was welcome, if he was comfortable doing so, to help with the training by not averting his eyes and freely commenting on my assets. I was mortified! The guy was young - mid twenties - and quite handsome. He openly stared at me and then WHISTLED!!! He asked if I truly had consented to this and, after glancing at Milord for permission to speak, I assured him I had. The man then set up our dinner and noted to Milord how he had always wanted to do the same with his girlfriend. He admired how my nipples were hard rocks above the pins, how pretty my red cheeks were and asked how many times I had cum due to the position I was in and the vibrator. I gritted my teeth as the two of them discussed me for the next ten minutes. The man then told Milord that the hotel had a policy of assigning one server to a client if so requested. He'd happily be our personal server. The two shook hands and the man left. Milord unclipped my nipples and I screamed a bit as the blood rushed back into them. I hadn't thought I could cum again, but I was wrong. I exploded, expelling the vibrator from my pussy. This made Milord laugh, so i thought he was pleased, but no. He reminded me of my disobedient mouth and told me that if that happened again, he'd punish me in front of the server rather than in private. He spanked my pussy and thighs. Hard. I cried and cried from the pain and from my failure. He then untied me, cuddled me, told me I had taken my punishment like a good girl and so for the duration of dinner I had full permission to speak.

NOW.  Yes, the pussy spanking hurt like hell, but what hurt more was the fact that I had made it barely three hours before I had disobeyed. In the past Milord would have let me get by with it, or worse, done as I demanded and covered me. Now, we've both learned that rules are rules and when they are enforced we both feel better afterwards. I look at him with even more respect now and certainly think twice before breaking any of our agreed upon rules.

2.  All Holes belong to Him.  I've always enjoyed the occasional anal experience, but I've been picky about it. I had to know a day in advance. I ate lightly, made sure my rectum was clean, placed towels within easy reach, and was horrified at the idea that my poop (eeewww!!) would be touched, seen or smelled! At the HBC (Hotel boot camp) I was not allowed to be picky. In the four days we were there, he came in my anus six times! He filled it with the metal egg, a large butt plug and even made me sleep with a small plug inserted. I had no privacy! I was not allowed to close the bathroom door. I was humiliated by this, but I had no choice. I disobeyed once and shut the door when I felt the need for a bowel movement. When I had finished, I was promptly punished. He pulled me over his lap and applied his belt across my bottom for ten minutes straight! By the time he finished, my bottom was beet red, my face was just as red, my cheeks covered in wet, salty tears and my pussy dripping with wetness.

NOW.  I understand that if he wants access to any part of my body he understand and - doesn't mind - the possibility of the unpleasant (in my mind) goo, odor or clean up. While I still appreciate a bit of warning, I eat more fiber (avoiding constipation), drink more water and guess what - not only do I now have regular bowel movements, but I feel physically better and healthier. Now when he takes my ass or plugs it, I'm pleased - inordinately so - that I can comply.

Overall, I'm a better, happier, healthier person and a more satisfied, skilled and content submissive.